Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.
You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom to practise your shunpo power.
You write to your mother in Karakura, Japan every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.
Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it.
You put oranges on your head because you heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits.
You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbour for setting fire to his lawn decorations, mistaken as hollows.
Every "bwahaha" you hear on the radio reminds you of death.
People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.
Your breath smells more and more like an arrancar dung each passing day.
Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through that hollow mask.
You begin to stop and consider all of the hell butterflies you've played on as a child, and worry that their owners are going to one day seek revenge.
You have meaningful conversations with your Bunny.
Your father pretends you are a shinigami, just to play along with your little illusion.
You collect Bleach Posters.
Every time the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! It should be the hollow signal alert!"
You like cats. Especially black ones having velvet eyes.
You put cherry blossom petals in the microwave to see if they'll pop a blade.
You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.
Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched on it like Toshiro, Byakuya, Rukia, Ichigo..., and you tell him it's for security reasons.
Swords excite you.
When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another dimension to tell him because "the hollow won't let you eat."
You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.
You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by FURA or to be loved by a horde of menos grande.
You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a "Shinigami on duty".
You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Bleach Insanity. (cough)
People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights as a strawberry.
You keep thinking this is the year 100 years ago, when Hollowfication was rampant.
You despise the voices in your head, especially the one that speaks only in JApanese.
You see migrating group of rabbits in the fall and only your attachment to the toaster keeps you from joining them.
The person you always talk to is invisible to everyone but you.
You like reading lists like this.
